Interruption between Sensation and Awareness in Research and Scholarship: Or, How to Tap Into Your Body's Knowledge

This is the first blockage to the Contact and Withdrawal Cycle that I think would be familiar to scholars. It is what Carl Rogers has called incongruence between sensation and awareness.  

During a university address, our new president explained to faculty the only two reasons to do research:

1.     To help with tenure and promotion

2.     To improve society

The latter reason he defined as “Generating grant dollars to help fund university operations.” I’m confident that I was not the only professor there to squirm in my seat.

I had an uncomfortable sensation in my stomach, like it was churning and tightening. I felt this sensation and I was aware of it. There was no block between it happening and my awareness of it happening. Furthermore, I was able to connect the feeling to a meaning—namely, I was nauseated by how my university justified research and scholarship. The reason for this is the subject of another essay.

Now, imagine that I felt my stomach churning and, instead of recognizing its source, concluded that maybe I had eaten too much for breakfast. If asked about my apparent unease, I might explain that the ideas the president shared sounded good to me, but that I just wasn’t feeling well at the moment.

For the scholar who experiences an interruption between sensation and awareness, they are cut off from the knowledge available in their bodies. This doesn’t amount to much if you believe that knowledge is limited to what can be written in words. But if you have ever had trouble finding the right words to express something you understand, then you have encountered the breadth and depth of body knowledge that is unmatched by verbal knolwedge. Eugene Gendlin wrote extensively about body knowledge, and he even designed a therapy around it (which he called focusing).

Short story writer George Saunders (https://artsandsciences.syracuse.edu/people/faculty/saunders-george/)  has said that he reads over his work with a critical nun in his head. He reads each line and listens for her to scold him. This is his way of listening to his body. Saunders cannot take responsibility for the senses—they just happen, sort of like a stern headmaster walking around the classroom who suddenly smacks her yardstick on a desk.

A scholar who has a blockage between sensation and awareness will be out of touch with their bodies, going through the motions of writing. For years I wrote books and articles and thought they were all excellent. I would get feedback from reviewers and wonder, “How could they say these things?” I had decided that I simply didn’t understand the whole writing business. I later realized that I did understand good and bad writing, I was just insensitive to it. I was loathe to seriously evaluate what I had written. Now when I write, I might highlight a section that feels off. I don’t know exactly why it feels off, I just trust that there is something wrong with it. I know I should delete the section and start over, but I haven’t matured that much yet.

What to do about it

If you recognize a blockage between sensation and awareness with your writing, then I recommend the following:

1. 1.     Go through your normal procedure for writing
2. 2.     Set what you’ve written aside for at least one week
3. 3.     Return to the piece and read it with a fresh mind. Rather than looking for misspellings or awkward phrases, become aware of your body. Don’t worry about revising, just notice feelings pride, happiness, feelings of concern, confusion, or boredom, feelings of distress or frustration.

The next step will be learning how to interpret this bodily knowledge to improve your writing. It’s something I’m still working on.

If you’re having trouble noticing your bodily senses while reading your own writing, then try picking up a book off the shelf. Start with your favorite author. Read an excerpt and, again, pay attention to how you feel as you’re reading. Notice the feelings when you read an excellent passage. Notice when you feel suspense or you want to rush; notice when you get bored or confused. The best authors will never make you feel this way.

Next, find a book that you set down because you were having trouble connecting with it. Pick it up again and start reading. Noticing how you feel. Notice feelings of confusion and frustration. Notice boredom. And so on. Don’t worry about solving the problem just yet. You’re learning to become aware of your body knowledge.